repent of my repentance

Do you realize that our very acts of sorrow over sin and repentance before God are often in need of repenting of?  It can be very easy to find ourselves listening to the lie that we are doing what God desires when we repent - which is true in and of itself.  God does clearly command us all to repent of our sins, and it pleases Him when we come to Him seeking pardon.  But far too often, our motives for repenting are themselves ungodly.  

Examine your prayers of confession for a moment.  Do you have an overwhelming sense of the vileness and danger of sin, as John Owen puts it "as represented in the blood and cross of Christ", always abiding with you?  Is your motive a godly grief over sins that the Savior has spilt His blood to pardon - sins that He has already buried in the ocean of His mercy?

Or do you repent because you fear what God will do to you if you don't?  Fear what the consequences of your sins will be? Do you repent out of some sense of necessity, as if the work of repentance must be done continually in order to maintain your state of salvation? Or merely out of a desire to ease your bothered conscience, with little or no concern for Christ and the way your sins have slighted and grieved Him?  I think Tim Keller puts it best:

"Repentance out of mere fear is really sorrow for the consequences of sin, sorrow over the danger of sin — it bends the will away from sin, but the heart still clings. But repentance out of conviction over mercy is really sorrow over sin, sorrow over the grievousness of sin — it melts the heart away from sin. It makes the sin itself disgusting to us, so it loses its attractive power over us. We say, ‘this disgusting thing is an affront to the one who died for me. I'm continuing to stab him with it!"

You see what is being said here?  If our repentance is not done for the simple fact that we have seen what our Savior has done in His rich mercy, and are continually and humbly beholding our sins in the horror and offensiveness of the cross, we have not really repented!  "The heart still clings" to sin if we are merely sorry for our sin for any other reason.

So let us fix our eyes upon Jesus Christ - and leave them there.  Let us be in continual awareness of our sin and His grace as displayed on Calvary.  For how can there be any drop of arrogance, any self-centered prayer, any love for another, when we truly and rightly behold the beautiful Savior who died there for us?

And let us also behold this same Jesus standing at the right hand of the Father.  For He did not stay on the cross. He rose again. And "ever lives above, for me to intercede"!  His perfect righteousness covers my every sin - yes, even those polluted prayers.  His blood speaks a better word.

May this be our prayer today:  (taken from the Valley of Vision)

O God of Grace,

Thou hast imputed my sin to my substitute,

and hast imputed His righteousness to my soul,

clothing me with a bridegroom's robe,

decking me with jewels of holiness.

But in my Christian walk I am still in rags;

my best prayers are stained with sin;

my penitential tears are so many impurity;

my confessions of wrong are so many aggravations of sin;

my receiving the Spirit is tinctured with selfishness.

I need to repent of my repentance;

I need my tears to be washed;

I have no robe to bring to cover my sins,

no loom to weave my own righteousness;

I am always standing clothed in filthy garments,

and by grace am always receiving change of raiment.

for Thou dost always justify the ungodly.

I am always going into the far country,

and always returning home as a prodigal.

always saying, Father, forgive me,

and Thou art always bringing forth the best robe.

Every morning let me wear it,

every evening return in it,

go out to the day's work in it,

be married in it,

be wound in death in it,

stand before the great white throne in it,

enter heaven in it shining as the sun.

Grant me never to lose sight of the exceeding sinfulness of sin,

the exceeding righteousness of salvation,

the exceeding glory of Christ,

the exceeding beauty of holiness,

the exceeding wonder of grace.

My Cup Runs Over

When was the last time you were truly thankful? As weak and selfish human beings, we are so prone to forget to give thanks unto the Giver of all good gifts. We are so quick to grumble and complain when things do not go the way we want them to. Rather than being thankful to God for providing abundant rain to water the thirsty ground, we grumble because we are getting wet or because we wanted to get some things done outside. Rather than praising the Lord for granting us senses and the ability to work and interact with people, we complain when we are asked to stay an hour later to help out. No matter what the situation, somehow we can always find something to complain about. This attitude springs from pride and arrogance.

A recently-read quote by C. J. Mahaney helps put things in their proper perspective:

"Let each of us recognize every day that whatever grace we receive from God is so much more than we're worthy of, and indescribably better than the hell we all deserve."

Even on those days when it seems like things could not go any worse, we must remember that we are already receiving so much more than we deserve. What we deserve as sinful, proud, ungrateful beings is nothing less than God's wrath. We deserve hell.

We must remind ourselves daily that the very fact that we are breathing should be ample cause for humble rejoicing and adoration at the great mercy of our Savior! Not only does our God richly supply us with temporal blessings, but he also grants us the greatest gift of all - the answer to our greatest need - grace and peace through Jesus Christ and His saving work on the cross! What a marvelous gift!

I close with a portion of the Puritan prayer "Evening Praise" taken from The Valley of Vision.

I thank Thee for the temporal blessings of this world -
the refreshing air,
the light of the sun,
the food that renews strength,
the raiment that clothes,
the dwelling that shelters,
the sleep that gives rest,
the starry canopy of night,
the summer breeze,
the flowers' sweetness,
the music of flowing streams,
the happy endearments of family, kindred, friends,
Things animate, things inanimate, minister to my comfort.
My cup runs over.
Suffer me not to be insensible to these daily mercies.
Thy hand bestows blessings: Thy power averts evil.
I bring my tribute of thanks for spiritual graces,
the full warmth of faith,
the cheering presence of Thy Spirit,
the strength of Thy restraining will,
the spiking of hell's artillery.

Blessed be my Sovereign Lord!"

Give us humble and thankful hearts, we pray, O God!

The Valley of Vision: The Broken Heart

O LORD,

No day of my life has passed that has not proved me guilty in Thy sight.

Prayers have been uttered from a prayerless heart;

Praise has been often praiseless sound;

My best services are filthy rags.

Blessed Jesus, let me find a covert in thy appeasing wounds.

Though my sins rise to heaven thy merits soar above them!

Though unrighteousness weighs me down to hell, thy righteousness exalts me to thy throne.

All things in me call for my rejection,

All things in thee plead my acceptance.

I appeal from the throne of perfect justice to thy throne of boundless grace.

Grant me to hear thy voice assuring me:
that by thy stripes I am healed,
that thou wast bruised for my iniquities,
that thou has been made sin for me
that I might be righteous in thee,
that my grievous sins, my manifold sins, are all forgiven
buried in the ocean of thy concealing blood.

I am guilty, but pardoned,
lost, but saved,
wandering, but found,
sinning, but cleansed.

Give me perpetual broken-heartedness,

Keep me always clinging to thy cross,

Flood me every moment with descending grace,

Open to me the springs of divine knowledge,
sparkling like crystal,
flowing clear and unsullied
through my wilderness of life.

Amen.



The above prayer was taken from a book called The Valley of Vision, which is a collection of Puritan prayers. This book has been a great help to me in my private prayer time. The prayers are not only beautiful, but they draw your gaze directly to the cross of our Savior! I highly recommend that every Christian own this book and use it often.